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Cartoon Page January 2002

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rob decided to shave his goatee for a cleaner, more respectable look.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click here for OXYMORONS

Favorite e-mail joke:

Bill Gates meets with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

Plan a head Dept. As reported in the Los Angeles Times 12-14-2001, former All-Star third-baseman for the Chicago Cubs Ron Santo (age 61) underwent surgery on Wednesday to amputate his right foot due to problems caused by diabetes. This was the first of two scheduled surgeries. On Monday he will have his right leg amputated below the knee.

Huh?

Which leads us to: As the mailman handed the farmer his mail, he noticed a pig with a wooden leg sitting on the porch. "What's with the pig?" he asked.

"Well, you see, that's a special pig," said the farmer. "He saved my baby's life. She fell in the pond t'other day and the pig came squealing up to the house to warn us. If it hadn't a been for the pig, our baby woulda drowned."

"But what about the wooden leg?"

"Well, the pig means too much to us to eat it all at once."

An oldie, but still a favorite:

A Short History of Medicine

2000 B.C. "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root."

All artwork ©2001 Stuart Vail

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