The Lone Arranger
Bone Head Department:
A married man, whose office was on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Center, decided not to go to work on that fateful morning. Instead, he spent it at his girlfriend's apartment. As usual, he had turned his cell phone off, and when he turned it back on at about 11:00 it rang immediately. It was his hysterical wife. "Are you OK? Where are you?"
He said, "What do you mean? I'm in my office, of course!"
They are now in divorce court.
Andy Rooney On Prisons:
Did you know that it costs forty-thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator.
artwork © 2002 Stuart Vail
"Go, Spidey!" - Anonymous